I’ve been in a flurry of thought this week. I am aware of course, that thoughts are merely thoughts, thanks to Flow magazine’s mindfulness journal that’s been reminding me that we don’t have to take all thoughts seriously. Which was quite a novel idea for me – I’ve always taken my thoughts too seriously sometimes, and can spiral into a muddle about all of them whizzing around my head.
However I am left with this one raging question I find I am asking myself – Do you approach life by simply doing what you want? Or not doing what you want?
Obviously there is a glaring answer and the answer is to do what you want; after all what else is your life for? There are thousands of empowering quotes on the internet and in books that will tell you to do what you want. But the reality is that there are things to consider, things to weigh up and calculate before you actually can go do these things.
So the question then morphs into – How can I be doing what I want?
Which kicks up a whole new torrent about yes planning your way to be doing what you want. Every step is a step to your dream, and all that. But then how long should you be doing that before actually going for something you want? Of course, each step along the way should be a step in the right direction, slowly steering your boat to the end goal.. But how long is this meant to go on for?
“You’ll just know” say some people. No no, the truth is you won’t just know. Saying that takes the decision away from you; as if a force of nature will ping down a giant neon sign when it’s time to take the next big step. You have to decide. And you won’t just know. But I think the feelings of change will become so overbearing that you will come to a point where you have to make a decision about what and where you want to experience life in this point of time if not, you’ll explode!
And this whole thought process is funny. It is so tormented but it is so funny because after you get through all these questions, the last question brings you directly back to the first question. And it is ever so easy to get stuck in this time loop over and over and over again until you actually decide one day and go, “Hell, I’m going to stick my left foot out here, and walk down that little trail that I’ve been eyeing up for thousands of hours..”
So, maybe I’ve answered my own question. Which is yes, you go do what you want. Because life’s too short to be stuck in a loop. Might as well ride the loop. On a bike. Or a pair of skis. With some rad shades on. And the wind in your hair. The sun in your face. The snow flecking up onto your skin.